disaffected grunts of a disillusioned expatriate

I’ve tumbld on and off for the past 5 years or so.

1) This makes me very old

2) This makes me ahead of my time trend-wise

and 3) This makes me have a better understanding of tumblr than people who joined it in the past year or two since it’s become uber popular (why is that by the way?)

My conclusion thus far is this:

Tumblr is the best social outlet for English and Humanities majors.

Basically if you graduated college with a degree that barely certifies you to make coffee, Tumblr is where you will find a comforting home.

Tumblr, while is suitable for techy people who want to spend hours writing code and customizing stuff, is about as idiot proof as blogs come. Even wordpress seems like rocket science in comparison to Tumblr. 

Tumblr also fills the void English (and all other irrelevant) majors have when they feel the need to share their emotions, discuss their feelings, and gush about something mundane. 

By no means am I saying this is a bad thing.

On the contrary - for me, an English Major (that veered into Business) and self-proclaimed disgruntled expatriate, Tumblr is the perfect outlet.

Especially when I have something else to do.

Point in fact - during the past year I was in business school and therefore very busy.

As a result I had about -7 blog posts (yes, that’s a negative).

But now, post Business School, when I am back in the real world of working and paying bills, I have plenty of time.

I have co-workers who baffle me with their stupidity, I have interactions that would make a sane person insane, and I have lots of time in between the job I get paid to do to share with the world my opinions about love, life, and the middle east [among other things I know nothing about]

So thank you Tumblr for being an excellent source of procrastination.

I promise to keep blogging until I find something better to do.

Like Marina and the Diamonds

Who constantly wows me with her ability to confirm what I already knew in a catchy way that gets me singing.

I too am not a robot

It’s like Marina and I are twins

I love my married friends (in case they are still reading) and I even love my pregnant friends (seriously stop reading), but I have serious issues with my Mommy and Daddy friends (told you).

Let me first explain that I love kids. Not like a little bit of love - hard core more than anything else, love love love kids.

But not because I see them as tiny human beings. Because I see them as portable entertainment centers.

This is absolutely 110% true. But mommies will never admit it.

Little kids, after they pass the three months mark (otherwise known as that time they sleep and have no facial expressions), and up until the point that they enter the double digits (not even teens. Ten year olds and up suck.), seem to exist solely for their partents entertainment factor. 

Sure they are expensive and annoying and eat everything in sights. But they are really funny.

A primary example of this was exhibited today during my lunchtime break. I sat at a local coffee shop with a coworker and the conversation was starting to sound like incessant humming in my mind, when all of a sudden, as though by cosmic destiny, a mother and child (looking like a giant cotton candy stick) sat down between my table and the table of an old man in a wheelchair.

Excuse me sir. But can I have a ride after you

And like an explosion I immediately zero-ed in on this little girl for the rest of my lunch break during which she continued to entertain me.

At the end of lunch, without warning, and without telling my boyfriend who would probably have a heartattack, I decided that I want one too!

I’m not going to jump the gun this minute.

But I want a little kid. I really do.

And not to make an impact on the world, receive unconditional love, know what it’s like to grow a person inside me, start a family, or for any of those typical reason.

I want a kid because they have no filters and are really fucking funny.