We didn’t know the Onion was not a real news site.
We know his sperm works, and I think it would be best if we kept his sperm away from any potential vessels.
There ought to be a way to get a court ordered warrant forbidding him from ever reproducing again. Or consuming oxygen for that matter..
Thank god it’s thursday
— the equivalent of Friday for the everyone else
Your truly went to the last Sticky & Sweet Concert on Madonna’s world tour (I was surprised with tickets from a certain special someone yesterday morning) and it couldnt have been more amazing! Slightly sleep deprived and still hearing the speakers humming in my ears, but it was absolutely worth every second of it!
This textfromlastnight actually made me cringe.
Who are these people. And more importantly, who are their friends who text them these ridiculous things?
In the word of the famous sinner: “Oh Holy Maria, you who concieved without sinning, help us sin without conceiving
— My (Jewish) mother. Again. Yeah she’s awesome.
if to be crude than to fuck you do in bed… not your future!
—
My mothers response to me saying my approach to life is “fuck it”
Yeah. She’s pretty much the best mother EVER.
Code Red sirens just went off around Gaza for the third day in a row
—
I guess the Hamas doesn’t remember what happened last January…
Perhaps it’s time to remind them?
The Michael Jackson popping out of the coroner’s van video that is circulating through youtube totally got my hopes up. It’s painfully fake and CNN went so far as to write an article totally crushing it, but still…
Plus I would just like to insert the line “Michael Jackson pulled a Tupac” into a conversation. I don’t think any other scenario could have cause those two to be placed in the same sentence together.
