Once upon a time I thought I was just like Cher (blonde 80’s icon from clueless. Not the one who turns back time in fishnets). During this time I tried ‘setting up’ friends on dates that I was convinced would lead to marriage. Aside from massive heartbreak, legal interference, and many spilled drinks, this short attempt at being a matchmaker achieved very little.. or at least little of what it was supposed to achieve.
While I have given up romantic matchmaking since then, I have discovered that I am a fantastic friendship matchmaker.
My methods are unorthodox and odd; I might randomly give someone your phone number and force them to invite you, or I might ‘accidentally’ give someone your number instead of mine. If you are my friend I expect you to play along. If some stranger calls asking where I am, tell them where you are instead. My friends know this and embrace this.
All the people in this picture, including several others not in the picture, and probably the person taking the picture, were all introduced to each other by me. And not in a formal setting - in a creepy “hey my friend across the continent will be at this place at this time and I command you to go” kind of way.
But it works
Therefore if you’re bored, not creepy, at least minimally attractive (I’m shallow-ish), or exceptionally funny/charming/witting/have-a-private-plane and can make up for your lack of good looks, I can find you a friend.
The moral of this little story, as so many of my others, is simply to illustrate my awesomeness.
Bow down.
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